Lindsay Lohan is in a live-in rehab facility … TMZ has learned.

We told you yesterday … Lindsay was checking into a Southern California rehab facility.

Read more: Lindsay Lohan Drugs, Lindsay Lohan Jail, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan Rehab, Entertainment News

I think we need to change Lindsay Lohan’s name to Lindsay Lonely. If your best relationship in life is with a white powder, an alcoholic substance or any type of prescription drug, then you are living a very lonely existence.

Throughout all my years of coaching people, I have found that the people who are addicts (of any kind) tend to be the ones who have really low self-esteem and a very low opinion of themselves. That is why I am renaming Lindsay Lohan “Lindsay Lonely.”

I am not being cold, but this woman has had many chances to clean it up. That’s what is really sad. How many addicted people get the opportunity to go to celebrity rehab?

I live in Los Angeles and I have driven by celebrity rehab facilities. I want to stay at one of these! They are usually in places like Malibu and situated on a cliff over looking the ocean. They have pools and jacuzzis. They have massages and pampering. You get to have good food and at night you’re watching the sunset.

These are the places that are supposed to get rid of addiction in just thirty days.
The problem with Lindsay Lonely and a lot of celebrities who are addicted is that they get coddled.

Take a look at Braylon Edwards from the New York Jets. He was out there on the field playing in last Sunday’s game just days after being pulled over for driving while intoxicated. Why is he out there drinking and driving? The NFL has a program where they will actually go and pick up drunken athletes from clubs and other places and drive them home.

The problem that the Lindsay Lohans and the Braylon Edwards of the world have is that they lead a very lonely, insecure existence. Just because they are celebrities does not mean they are not lonely. A lot of their so called friends are just along for the free ride and that’s it!

How many friends do you have who are addicted to one thing or another? How many people do you know who are in a bad marriage, and they are addicted to pain killers, alcohol or some other substance?

The reason why people do this is because they are numb. They’re not happy with themselves, their relationship and their life.

It’s because they never took inventory of their life. They never really took a stand on their life. They never really sat down and said to themselves, “You know, this sucks. I’ve got to figure out how to get better from the inside out.”

People who are medicated are figuring things out from the outside in. Take a pill and everything will be fine — that is their approach to dealing with their life.

Put on any football game or sporting event, and you will be inundated with prescription drug commercials. Have trouble getting a hard-on? Well sit in a bath tub for 24 hours with Cialis.

Then again, how often do you want to have sex sitting in a bath tub? I’ve never looked at my wife and said, “Baby let’s go get two bath tubs and have sex tonight.”

We’ve become an over-medicated society. We’re addicted to prescription drugs, alcohol, and anything else. Hell, in the State of California it’s as easy to get a marijuana card as it is to pick up a six pack of beer. All you have to do is walk into one of the clinics and tell them you don’t sleep at night, and for $150.00 you can get marijuana whenever you want.

We do this because we don’t know how to reach out for help. We don’t know how to get raw. We don’t know how to get vulnerable, and we’re afraid of being vulnerable. So we stay medicated, because being vulnerable means that whatever the illusion that other people have of us will not be exactly who we really are.

So, for the Lindsey Lonelys and the Braylon Edwards out there, it’s time to really look and learn from these people. Stop emulating them. Stop gossiping about them. Learn from their behavior and what they’ve done. Then look at your your own life. What are you reaching for instead of help?

Read more: Healthy Relationships, Lindsay Lohan, Relationships, Cialis, Braylon Edwards, Prescription Drugs, Malibu, Los Angeles, Celebrities, Cocaine, Lindsay Lohan Drugs, Alcoholism, Dui, Lindsey Graham, Entertainment News

By Fifty First (J)Dates
FFJD on Twitter

From: Meredith

To: Dana Scrow , Linds

Date: Sat, Sep 25, 2010 at 11:12 PM

Subject: Re: Important Message for Lindsay

Dana – This got “returned to sender” today. How was I supposed to know she was only going to be in jail for 14 hours? I had an entire Dean & Deluca gift basket sent to inmate #5559. You’re her assistant, you should know these things and forward them to me. Please have the basket sent to the house with Dina. And tell her not to take the Camels out of the gift for herself, like she did last time.

While I look up the address for Promises: Heroin Ward 3, can you please send this to Linds’ blackberry? Also, please make an appointment for the two of us for mani/pedis at 3:30 on La Cienega. With Tiffany. Not Amber.

Hi Linds!

How are your extensions faring? I think you should try washing them with the bar soap and not the body wash I sent, because apparently, according to Brittany at the salon, they’re the least abrasive and most likely to stay your entire sentence. And like, you want your hair to look good.

How are the other girls treating you? Are you making friends? In the biblical sense? I miss having you to party with here in LA. I was just at Teddy’s the other night and Tom was telling me how much he missed you and how you hadn’t bought from him in a while.

Anyway, I hope you’re enjoying your latest bologna and cheese sandwich. I tried to send you Nobu, but the guards wouldn’t let me. Whatever, I fed it to a homeless man sitting outside the precinct and he was really thankful, but he told me that he prefers the spicy crunchy tuna to the salmon avocado. I totally agree, but they were out of the special $300 tuna, which was a bummer.

So anyway, I was just thinking about SevinNyne and the vodka redbull I had just poured myself (our breakfast of champions! I’m totally going to try your suggestion for the huevos rancheros with Johnny Walker next time) and I had an idea. I think you should try online dating in jail.

I know, I know, like you’re totally going to run into Harry Morton and it will be “Morton-ifying” but like what do you have to lose?

Yeah, at first I was like soooo embarrassed when I totally saw that boy I went out with on Match.com at Katsuya with some slutty looking girl who clearly robbed the mannequin at Kitson (don’t people know you’re not supposed to buy the entireee outfit and wear it all at once?). But really, you might find someone you like.

And like, I think you can choose both boys and girls. Plus, Sam might get totally jealous. You know how you made like a fake ad for eHarmony? We should totally get you to be a spokesperson and then we can make more money and like you had totally endorse it. It’s done wonders for Jennifer Hudson. Unless that’s Weight Watchers. Don’t worry, you’re not fat. Just single.

Plus, nobody will know who you are. Like people won’t be judging you, and know about your multiple arrests. So it’s perfect. You can finally date a boy who has no idea you’re like totally famous and in jail and you can send him flirts. Maybe you should even join JDate. Like I know you’re not Jewish, but I hear there are lots of rich boys on the site. And like, you’re from Long Island so whatever, it’s basically the same thing. Just be FieryRedhead79. Totally worked for Jill Zarin’s mom.

Miss you so much! I’m wearing a see-through shirt in your honor. When you get out we’re going to celebrate like the golden days, when you had highlights and a job!

Peace, love, and 6126,

Meredith

Read more: Weight Watchers, Jennifer Hudson, Lindsay Lohan, Relationships, Humor, Lindsay Lohan Samantha Ronson, Nobu, Dating, Jdate, Lindsay Lohan Jail, Fifty First (J)Dates, Comedy News

Shame on the Bravo network.

Just when you thought its steady spew of trashy “reality” shows couldn’t get any worse, it darkens the horizon with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. This show, debuting on Oct. 14, follows on the heels of those supposedly real housewives of Orange County, New York, New Jersey, Atlanta and Washington, D.C.

Never mind that the words “real” and “housewife” have nothing to do with any of these shows.

I commented recently, to more than one person, “What have we done as a nation to deserve having Sarah Palin and Snooki thrust into the public consciousness? Why do every action of Paris Hilton, Bristol Palin, Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga make headlines? Is this the contemporary version of some Biblical punishment?”

In a word, yes. And it’s tempting to blame it on Bravo and its unceasing flow of effluent in the form of its reality programming. These shows are about as real as the women they purport to reveal.

I’ve seen the pilot for the Beverly Hills spinoff and it’s hard to imagine a more reprehensible group of people being given national exposure on a cable network. The subjects include the soon-to-be-ex-wife of Kelsey Grammer (who used surrogates to bear her two children and four nannies to care for them), a woman who is part owner of the Sacramento Kings and two former child stars (who happen to be sisters — and aunts to Paris Hilton).

Their lives appear devoted to conspicuous consumption. The show is about minor personality dust-ups between said women, about who slighted who, who was unappreciative of what favor, who has more money (and status) than who.

Meanwhile, the concept of “real housewives,” well, forget it. Real housewives wouldn’t draw ratings. Real housewives are trying to figure out how to pay the bills, how to spend some quality time with their kids when they’re forced to work two jobs because their husbands have been laid off (no doubt by the husbands of “real housewives”). Real housewives want that 10-year-old car to last a few more months, even though they have no idea how they would replace it, even with a car of the same vintage.

Yes, I understand the appeal of these shows — and also the way they dull the minds and intellects of all who watch them. Bravo obviously doesn’t own a patent on creating garbage, but it is absolutely an industry leader in its production.

Its effect is to help dumb down a world already dashing toward the realm of the brain-dead. The prevailing theme among this country’s right wing — aside from promulgating fear about everything — is to foment suspicion of anything resembling more than the most fundamental thinking. There is an anti-intellectualism running rampant in our politics and our people — and the shows on Bravo only help the simple-minded who embrace the idea that having intelligence is somehow a plot — or a way for smart people to be mean to people who aren’t. And that complaining about the conscienceless existence of the rich amounts to “class warfare.”

Once upon a time (back in the Paleolithic era), the Bravo network was where you went to watch high-quality arts fare. Everyone knows how huge the profit margin is on programming that actually forces you to think.

Then Queer Eye for the Straight Guy happened. And suddenly Bravo became the go-to brand for the worst sort of reality-TV trash. And it’s spread like a virus.

Certainly, Bravo isn’t the only such crap factory.

Click here: This commentary concludes on my website.

Read more: Paris Hilton, Kelsey Grammer, Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, The Real World, President Obama, Lindsay Lohan, Cribs, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Bristol Palin, Jersey Shore, Bravo, Sarah Palin, Marshall Fine Blog, Flavor of Love, Vh1, Sacramento Kings, Hummer, Snooki, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Lady GaGa, Marshall Fine Commentary, Top Chef, Mtv, Entertainment News