I’m with everyone else who couldn’t figure out Lindsay Lohan’s $100 million lawsuit against E-Trade because one of the babies in a TV spot had her name…. You know, whatever she said.

But, once again, Advertising Age came to my rescue. I opened my mailbox on March 9 to find the headline:

“Was Lohan’s $100M Suit Against E-Trade Crowdsourced”?

I hadn’t read or heard the word “crowdsourced” before, but I did hope to find an explanation for the latest silly celebrity lawsuit.

It turns out that Lindsay and her Twitter followers were apparently upset or bothered or something when they saw the spot during the “Super Bowl.” AD AGE did thorough research and reported they think the lawsuit was a “crowdsourced effort by friends and random friends of Ms. Lohan on Twitter.”

The reporter did his research:

“A quick look back at her Twitter page shows that Ms. Lohan was watching the Feb. 7 Super Bowl broadcast, and its commercials, closely. She tweeted with some shock during the game: “Did that just happen? On that commercial? Or am I wrong? 5:44 PM Feb 7th via UberTwitter.”

(I didn’t know there was an UberTwitter either, BTW.)

“…that commercial” is apparently the talking babies trading stocks who know another baby, the “milkaholic Lindsay.”

(I can figure out what a milkaholic is. I just can’t equate what it has to do with the actress.)

I was not Tweeting during the Super Bowl (and I don’t think Lindsay Lohan is on my friends list), so I missed what AD AGE reported: “a lot of people were talking about it on Twitter in the aftermath of the spot’s airing – with many egging Ms. Lohan on to file a lawsuit against E-Trade.” The story actually quotes some of these instigators and shows Ms. Lohan’s responses.

I think my favorite part of the reporter’s observations is, “But it’s pretty surprising that before filing the suit she didn’t delete her Twitter comments.” Ah, the Tiger Woods effect strikes again.

All right. Now I know what crowdsourcing is: It’s a bunch of people giving celebrities bad advice about subjects they know nothing about it.

If anyone thinks I should sue a “candy” company, or complain about anything to do with “spelling,” please comment here. I’ve never been crowdsourced.

Read more: Twitter, Lindsay Lohan, Crowdsource, Lawsuit, Super Bowl, Advertising Age, Entertainment News

Following her disastrous collection, Lindsay Lohan has been fired from Emanuel Ungaro. Now that her career in haute couture is derailed, what can our plucky LiLo do next?

* VIP cocktail waitress in Vegas — if Rachel Uchitel could land a man like Tiger Woods from this job, think about the guy or girl Lindsay could land.
* Molson Beer Girl — it worked out really well for Pamela Anderson. That said, does it matter that Lindsay isn’t from Canada?
* Celebrity personal assistant — because it would be karmic retribution for treating her own assistants like crap.
* Drug dealer — cut out the middleman!
* Dancing with the Stars contestant — seriously, I can’t believe she hasn’t done this one already. Think how awesome it would be if Maks was her partner.
* DJ — if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.
* Girl Next Door – now that the Shannon twins have moved out of the Playboy Mansion, Hef is in the market for some more girlfriends. Lindsay could get her own room!
* John Mayer’s New Girlfriend — doesn’t pay, but the publicity can’t be beat.
* Body double in Twilight — simply having her name attached to that film couldn’t be a bad idea at this point in her career.

See more at The Gloss.

Read more: Rachel Uchitel, Hugh Hefner, John Mayer, Twilight, The Girls Next Door, Lindsay Lohan, Pamela Anderson, Comedy News

AP:

MINEOLA, N.Y. – Lindsay Lohan is feuding with the E-Trade babies.

The actress has filed a $100 million lawsuit claiming a television ad for the Wall Street firm that aired during the Super Bowl and Olympics was modeled after her.

Talking babies in the ad engage in chatter that refers to “milkaholic Lindsay.” The 23-year-old actress has famously sought substance abuse treatment.

Lohan’s name was never mentioned. But her New York lawyer contends that “Lindsay” is an equally recognizable moniker for her client — like that of Oprah or Madonna.

Lohan’s legal team is seeking an injunction to stop future airings.

An E-Trade spokeswoman is declining to comment.

WATCH:

Read more: Lindsay Lohan, Lohan E-Trade Ad, Lindsay Lohan E-Trade, Lohan Suing E-Trade, E-Trade, Milkaholic Baby Ad, Lindsay Lohan Lawsuit, Lindsay E-Trade Ad, Entertainment News

Parents wanting to name their baby “Lindsay” may want to think twice, after E-Trade Financial found itself at the unintended comedic end of a $100M lawsuit brought about by the actress Lindsay Lohan who claims that the Super Bowl ad for the company defamed her.

The story, appearing in the New York Post, is fairly stunning.

Ms. Lohan, who just watched her fashion career with Ungaro sink faster than a submarine with screen doors, seems to think that she is in the same class of celebrity as “Oprah” or “Angelina,” when the truth is that her co-star Herbie is probably better known as a first-name actor.

The suit was filed in a Nassau County (NY) court. No word yet as to whether terrorists have spiked the water in Nassau with hallucinogens or other narcotics that might explain what would prompt area lawyer Stephanie Ovadia filing this suit for Ms. Lohan. I guess if the cash is green and you can avoid openly laughing when someone with a first name shared by millions of other people comes and tells you that she wants damages for use of her uniqueness, you can file almost anything.

First, watch the commercial, if you haven’t seen it already:

Now I’ve seen this commercial a few times, and I cannot say with a straight face that I ever found any reason to suggest that it was riffing on Lindsay Lohan.

Perhaps if the male baby had said something like: “Lindsay? Oh you mean that skanky freckled-face bi-sexual baby and media ho?” Then maybe she might have a point.

E*Trade should give her a million for the free publicity.

What’s next? Lawyers recommending to y’all that everyone with a child named Lindsay should find a lawyer, develop a slog of class-action lawsuits, and sue E-Trade for defaming your daughter’s good name?

Make sure, by the way, that you file a trade or service mark for your child’s name at birth, as Lindsay’s mom apparently has done.

Lindsey Graham is thinking about filing a similar suit, as are Lindsay Wagner and Lindsay Price and Lindsay Hartley and Lindsey Vonn.

I’m thinking, for my son, Holden, to compel the Salinger estate to recall every copy of “Catcher in the Rye,” and to demand that the name “Holden Caulfield” be replaced with “Iggy Caulfield” Let the guys named Iggy fight that one out.

I can see the 15-minutes-of-fame thing as a selling point to the lawyer, but, unless there is some brilliant strategy on the part of Ms. Lohan’s agent and management in making her look like a complete fool and spend a week as the subject of jokes on the nighttime shows instead of pitching her upcoming projects on them, then I can’t see the win here.

Even New York and LA area crack dealers are sitting back and shaking their heads at this one.

Lindsays ain’t easy to love and they’re harder to hold.
They give you a song-and-dance and demand diamonds and gold.
Designer buckles and old faded jeans,
And each night begins a new binge.
If you don’t like their acting as teens,
Now it’ll probably make you cringe.

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Lindsays.
Don’t let ‘em make movies or design fashion lines,
Let ‘em be actresses and publicity-hounds and such.
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be Lindsays.
‘Cos they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone.
Even with someone they love.

Lindsays like smokey old club rooms and all kinds of liquor,
Little Gucci handbags and bad boys and girls of the night.
Them that don’t know her won’t like her and them that do,
Sometimes won’t know how to take her.
She ain’t wrong, she’s just different but her pride won’t let her,
Do things to make you think she’s right in the head.

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Lindsays.
Don’t let ‘em on Leno or Letterman too,
Let ‘em do Kimmel and Ferguson and such.
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be Lindsays.
‘Cos they’ll think they’re bigger than they are,
And sue someone for using the name.

Ms. Lohan, you’re no Oprah. Leave your comedy career on the silver screen, and keep it out of the courtroom.

My shiny two.

Read more: Herbie, Lindsay Lohan, E*Trade, Angelina Jolie, Herbie the Love Bug, Humor, Comedy News, Hollywood, Comedy, Lawsuits, Oprah Winfrey, Lohan Sues E*Trade, E*Trade Lawsuit, Entertainment, Law, Oprah, Angelina, Funny, Entertainment News

Lindsay Lohan lets a lot hang out in a racy new photo shoot with Terry Richardson for ‘Purple’ magazine – the same magazine for which she recently posed as Jesus.

Which of these shots is the artiest of the bunch?

PHOTOS:

Read more: Lindsay Lohan Terry Richardson, Slidepollajax, Terry Richardson, Lindsay Lohan Purple, Celebrity Skin, Lindsay Lohan, Entertainment News